What you said?

Not my favorite child.
(This week.)

One of the things you quickly learn as a parent is that childhood is a series of phases--good and bad. It's kind of like what they say about the weather in Hawaii. If you don't like it, just wait a few minutes. One week your child is a perfect angel. The next week s/he is throwing food at dinnertime. But--and pardon me for mixing my metaphors here--phases are also kind of like viruses. You only get chicken pox once. Once your child tires of throwing food, s/he moves on to tearing up your magazines and leaves the food throwing behind. Or at least that's what I thought.

A few months ago Sadie went through her Why phase, which I have to say was one of the more annoying phases we've ever encountered. She would ask "why" for everything and keep asking you until you wanted to strangle a puppy. After a couple of eons she gave it up and moved on to Tormenting Daddy at Bedtime. This was also a particularly nasty phase but it did have one saving grace: it only happened once a day.

Unfortunately, however, the Why phase has returned, only this time it's coupled with Verbal Diarrhea to form (sorry for another mixed metaphor) a perfect storm of annoying. Here's a typical morning interaction. Sadie comes into the kitchen with her binky and nook nook and sees me eating breakfast. "Daddy you eating raisin bran, Daddy?" Yep-- "What you said, Daddy?" I said yes. "Why?" Because it's yummy. "Why?" Because. "Daddy, can I have juice, Daddy? Can I have juice? Daddy? Can I have juice?" Ok-- "You getting me juice, Daddy? Daddy? You getting me juice?" Yes, honey. "Why?"

And on and on. She'll ask me the same question three times before I can even process what it was that she asked me. Sometimes she asks me a question so many times, I feel like I'm being interrogated by the mob and I'm having a hard time getting my story straight. "OK, Daddy, just relax and tell me once again why I can't play with this steak knife?"

Last time the Why phase reared its annoying little head, I marveled at how quickly I would resort to saying things like, "Because I said so." As much as I hated saying it--after all, I don't really want to discourage her from asking questions--it was a quick way to end the conversation before I lost my mind. Now, however, I'm working on a more sophisticated strategy. Next time she asks me a question I'm going to point behind her and say, "Look, Sadie! It's Spider-man!" and quickly run out of the room. Think it'll work?

Why?

First day of school

Soen started kindergarten and Sadie started pre-school yesterday. He was a bit clingy as we left him in his new classroom. Sadie basically forgot I was there. When I picked her up her teacher said, "Oh what a good listener she was!" I suppressed a sarcastic remark. Gold star for Daddy.

Picking Soen up was an eye-opening experience. It was a total mob scene. Took me a half hour. Suddenly the bus looks like a great alternative. I just have to get the wife on board. She has visions of sixth graders pummeling my son into submission. Did I mention it took me a half hour to pick the boy up?

Note the hippie look Sadie was sporting. Today we switched over the the tennis/country club look. Well sort of. Note the spider-man tattoos and the blue lips and the blue streak running down her left leg. Sadie can make a mess even when chewing gum.