Roid Rage

So, daddy's away in Jersey "working" and mommy is left alone with the steroid addled, teething, ulcerated-butt, stomach bug having insane excuse for a baby. Thankfully Soen has been extra cute and prevented me from dropping them both at the mall with instructions to look for new parents.

P.S. I did wait until almost 6 (PM) to uncork the wine.

That look

Marianne caught on film the look that our nanny lovingly calls, "Sadie's glare of death."

Here's the usual setup for the glare. Sadie will be playing just fine with Katherine and then she'll see me creep out of my office (trying to hide from her as I go get a drink) and she'll start crying unconsolably. Then I pick her up, she stops crying, and gives Katherine this look. Wait, I found another one...

Push pop!

This photo, taken by Marianne, shows Adler being exposed to all sorts of synthetic ingredients for the first time, care of that SpongeBob push-pop he's wielding. I can still hear Marianne saying to Adler as he's running out the door, trying to tear off the cap to this amazing new treat: "Adler, I have organic pears if you want them..."

Meet the Nielsens!

I don't have a photo of the four of us. Luckily I spent a lot of time using Mac Paint as a kid.

If you've ever wondered what kind of chumps the Nielsen TV ratings company hires to report their TV viewing... well, it's chumps like us. We have been dutifully writing down every single show we watch since Thursday; and will continue to do so for an entire week. In exchange we get $30 (which they sent to us in chold hard cash, interestingly enough) and the knowledge that we're doing our part to keep Spongebob and the Daily Show on the air. So, if you're favorite show isn't one of those two programs (or General Hosiptal. Wife has a thing for Sonny)... we're sorry.

Writing this entry reminded me of a speech Kurt Vonnegut made at Ohio State University recently. The students asked him for some advice and he said, "Don't use semicolons."

Next week: Soen's first school play! (Leontes in The Winter's Tale.)

P.S. My computer crashed two times right as I was about to finish this would-be short blog entry. And, because I hadn't saved my draft either time, I was forced to write it all over again. Three times. [excuse me while i save this draft.] It's odd retelling the same joke three times in a row. Especially when it's kind of lame, like the Shakespeare joke. And even more so when it was that stupid joke that caused me to crash both times. This will shed a little light on how I write these things, in case anyone cares. As I was writing about Soen's play, I thought it might be amusing to say he was going to be playing a dramatic Shakespearean role, since he's actually going to be a frog that sings "The Ants Go Marching One By One." But... what's the funniest role? [saving draft.] Because I'm an idiot and can't just let a dumb joke be a dumb joke, I had to go and look up Shakespeare's plays and then determine which was the "funniest." (Because I couldn't just use Hamlet or Lear like any other person.) No... I had to choose one that was kind of obscure but still recognizable as a Shakespearean drama--one that would require an actor to have just the right amount of gravitas that is just out of the reach of a three year old. And for some reason, as I was toggling between windows, my computer ecountered a fatal error and closed down. This was proably my computer's way of telling me that not only was this joke not funny (in the least), but I was spending way too much time on it. Again, any other person would have bailed on the stupid joke in the first place, but after all this trouble, I was not only going to write it; I was going to write it to death. (Two semicolons in one blog! Take that Vonnegut!)

P.P.S. And for the record, before any of you mention it, I do know that Leontes in the Winter's Tale is clearly not the funniest role for a three year old. That would of course be Titus Andronicus, which is funny for three reasons: 1. It's just a funny name, 2. It's only two words, and 3. It's like Shakespeare's worst play, therefore making it the last play any pre-school worth its salt would choose to perform. (Duh!)

Our first date

Who wouldn't want to be friends with us?

The other day we all went to the farmer's market in downtown Wilmington. (It's rather nice, I have to say. Lots of fresh produce.) After we had had our fill, we sat down in front of a cafe where we bought Soen an ice cream. Being an outgoing kid who was quickly getting hopped up on sugar, he started making goofy faces at this couple sitting behind us. And the played along. We started talking to them and they said two things that caught our attention: 1. They just moved here from New York, and 2. They were pregnant. All of a sudden it dawned on us: We could be friends with these people! As we were leaving Michaela said we should get their number, and we both joked about how it was like asking someone out for a date. When we got home she said, "So... how long do we wait to call them?"

This past Saturday we had them over for dinner and had a rather nice time, although afterwards I wondered if we seemed desperate. We did talk their ears off until about 10 when he yawned(probably not a good sign). We said goodbye, closed the door, and Michaela said, "I wonder if they'll call us back?" Yesterday I went to get some coffee at the place where he works and I thought, how embarrassed will I be if I run in to him? He'll probably think I'm stalking him. Thankfully, I escaped unseen. (As far as I know.) Who knew making friends was so stressful?

Tonight we went out for sushi and this kid was walking out of the restaurant past our table. Soen said, "Hi. My name is Soen." And this kid smiled and said, "My name is Ian." And I thought, Man, they make it look so easy.

By the way, Sadie started crawling yesterday. God help us.

Blackmail Dept.

The other night Michaela was explaining the differences between boys and girls to Soen who said, "I wanna be a girl, Mommy." "Well, Soen," she said, "You're a boy. Boys and girls have different parts." "No, Mommy, I wanna be a girl so I can nurse babies." "But you don't have boobies. You need boobies to nurse babies." "No, mommy, I eat up all my food so I can grow big boobies and nurse babies." Ever since Sadie showed up, Soen's been into mothering his toys. He has this stuffed kitten that he calls his baby. He even pretended to nurse it once.

I'm trying to see if we can't parlay this phase into getting him to change Sadie's diapers. After all, shouldn't we be encouraging our children to follow their dreams?

Awww...

Sadie looking cute in a frilly dress and hat that only took 1.7 man-hours to put on.

See how well she sits up now?