Holidazed

It's school holiday program season, which basically consists of your kids singing a slew of Christmas songs with one made-up Hanukkah song for a fair and balanced program. In other words: Torture for me. Then again, it's a very cute torture.

We atheists need some catchy songs.

more skating

We went ice skating with Aunt Carol yesterday and Soen actually skated the whole time without hanging on to something. He was actually skating much better than what you see here. Mostly I was just proud that he was brave enough to try it. Sadie, on the other hand, held on to me and Carol for dear life the entire time. Mostly she held on to me and stared up at the flashing lights in the ceiling while her legs dangled below her. When she actually focused on skating, she did an OK job of it. I'm just glad they liked it.

Skating away

I took the kids ice skating today. Sadie had never been. Soen had been once, last winter. When I mentioned it this morning he asked if he could get that "magic gum" that he had last time. Figures that the one thing that would stick out in his mind would be the candy he had that day. He said, "Please, Daddy? It will be just like old times."

Anyway, we went, we had fun, and the kids even had some "magic gum." (This turned out not to be gum at all, but a jawbreaker. Its ability to change colors was apparently "magical" to the Soen. Sadie tired of it after about five minutes and spit it into my hand.) Sadie enjoyed it. I think she even fared better than Soen did, who needed to take a few breaks from the action. He's not the toughest guy I've ever met. Then again, neither was I.

A man and his butterfly

We took a break from the indoor water park we were visiting this past weekend and went to the Charlotte Museum of Natural History. Soen found the butterfly exhibit. Note that one butterfly isn't enough. He eventually had two.

Halloween

Sadie as "Woman Woman"

My Kids are Alright

Soen and Sadie discovered the Who the other day. I couldn't be happier. "Magic Bus" came on the radio and Sadie took to it right away. Normally she yells "MAGIC BUS!" throughout the song, but her favorite part is when Roger Daltry says, "Can I buy your Magic Bus?" And Pete Townsend and Sadie say, "Nooooo!"

Anyway, we were having a little fire and smores last night and I caught the kids dancing to the song.

Lord of the Rings

I started watching the Lord of the Rings movie with Soen while Sadie was napping. It's been a rather nice bonding experience and he's way into it. We've only managed to get about 40 minutes into the first movie over two showings. Today, right when Sadie woke up it was at the first really intense part of the film, when Frodo first puts the ring on and the Eye of Sauron spots him. Since Sadie was walking in at that point we stopped it. But that little glimpse really caught her attention. She couldn't stop talking about it for about 15 minutes--egged on by Soen, who was trying to fill her in on all the details. Anyway, she kept asking me questions about it and so I ran to get my camera because I thought it was funny how fascinated she was by the three second glance she got and by Soen's retelling. So here's the Lord of the Rings as told by Sadie.

A conversation

Sadie: (Giving Soen a big hug) I love you, Soen.
Soen: Oh brother.

[ed note: Not a very exciting video, but it's all I've got.]

Sadie's Party

Some clips from Sadie's birthday party on Saturday. A fun time was had by all.

Sadie's first soccer game

It was pretty much what I expected. Lots of kids running around the ball, not really caring which direction they should be going in. As you can see in the second clip, Sadie was more interested in looking at the people on the sidelines than playing the game. The games are a half hour long, which is an eternity to a three year old. By the end of the game thy were begging for kids to go back on the field. Fifteen minutes would be perfect.

Not that anyone keeps score at these games but our team was crushed by grey by like a billion to zero. Well, that's not quite accurate. Our team kicked a few in our own goal. Not sure how you score that. Anyway, Sadie had fun but wasn't blown away. At first she said she didn't want to play anymore but later on she told me she did. We'll see how it goes.

Plan of attack

The other day Soen and I were reading a kids book about how various animals protect themselves from being eaten by other animals. On the last page it asks how you would protect yourself from being eaten. I figured Soen would say that he would run away really fast or something. But instead he replied, "I don't know, kick him in the penis?"

Seems like a good strategy to me.

Guess what Sadie's going to be for Halloween?

Newfanlged playground wipes out 3/4 of family

Sadie as Veronica Lake.











Someone told Wife about this cool new playground that was near us, so tonight we went and had a look-see. It was just as space-aged as advertised, featuring not a single familiar playground ride. There were about a half dozen different spinning things and some weird kind of zany climbing things and there were at least three of four things I honestly couldn't figure out what they heck they were or how to use them. It was truly bizarre. It was also rather deadly as we discovered.

So, there were these two spinning rides that I'd never seen before. They were bowls that were set at a slight angle--not quite 45 degrees. The child (or adult) would sit in it and, thanks to the angle, they would start spinning around. If they were sitting right, they'd start to spin faster and faster. Soen was able to adjust his speed fairly well. We had to stop Sadie, because she started going to fast for her liking. That's when yours truly decided to literally give it a whirl. I got in and sat all the way down, not realizing that once I got moving, I'd be unable to stop my self. And that's exactly what happened. Over the course of about two minutes, I started spinning faster and faster until I was pleading with Wife to stop me. I think she thought I was joking around, but eventually she got the message that her husband was going to be in a very serious way rather soon, so she stepped in to stop me. I was finally able to pry myself out of the seat but when I got out, I was so completely dizzy--honestly, I've never been so dizzy in my entire life--that I just fell over... right onto my daughter, knocking her down and bruising her shin. It was a good minute before I could stand up and help with our now screaming daughter. Meanwhile, Wife was comforting Sadie and giving me looks like I'm some kind of abusive drunk.

Two down, one more to go.

A few minutes later Soen was riding on this space-aged merry-go-round. It kind of looks like a monorail track that's set on an angle (what's the deal with this angle business?). Kids can lie on it with their feet dangling on either side of the track. Anyway, Soen slammed his heel on one of the posts that hold the track up.

We decided perhaps it was time to go before we completed the beer frame. Sadie was still limping around as she went to bed tonight. If she's limping tomorrow, we'll take her to the doctor.

UPDATE: She's fine, thank the gods. I was actually kind of worried as to how I was going to explain this to the doctors.

Monkey Joe's!

For some reason many of the kids' activity centers around here don't open until 10am. When you're on your kids' schedule, that's like the middle of the afternoon. Hence, Sadie's exhilaration at discovering that Monkey Joe's--a big hall filled with Moon Bounce-type slide thingies--is finally open. Clearly the people who run these places don't have children. If they did, they'd be open at a more reasonable hour. Like 7.

Underoos!

The other day the kids were getting dressed for school and Sadie discovered an old pair of Soen's shoes. He picked them up, looked at them fondly and said, "Ahhh, the good old days."

Sadie's first soccer game was supposed to be this morning but it got canceled due to rain. I'm pretty excited to see her in action. I'll post a video when she finally plays. I can't imagine what 2-3 year-old soccer looks like. Sounds like it could be the most hilarious thing ever.

What you said?

Not my favorite child.
(This week.)

One of the things you quickly learn as a parent is that childhood is a series of phases--good and bad. It's kind of like what they say about the weather in Hawaii. If you don't like it, just wait a few minutes. One week your child is a perfect angel. The next week s/he is throwing food at dinnertime. But--and pardon me for mixing my metaphors here--phases are also kind of like viruses. You only get chicken pox once. Once your child tires of throwing food, s/he moves on to tearing up your magazines and leaves the food throwing behind. Or at least that's what I thought.

A few months ago Sadie went through her Why phase, which I have to say was one of the more annoying phases we've ever encountered. She would ask "why" for everything and keep asking you until you wanted to strangle a puppy. After a couple of eons she gave it up and moved on to Tormenting Daddy at Bedtime. This was also a particularly nasty phase but it did have one saving grace: it only happened once a day.

Unfortunately, however, the Why phase has returned, only this time it's coupled with Verbal Diarrhea to form (sorry for another mixed metaphor) a perfect storm of annoying. Here's a typical morning interaction. Sadie comes into the kitchen with her binky and nook nook and sees me eating breakfast. "Daddy you eating raisin bran, Daddy?" Yep-- "What you said, Daddy?" I said yes. "Why?" Because it's yummy. "Why?" Because. "Daddy, can I have juice, Daddy? Can I have juice? Daddy? Can I have juice?" Ok-- "You getting me juice, Daddy? Daddy? You getting me juice?" Yes, honey. "Why?"

And on and on. She'll ask me the same question three times before I can even process what it was that she asked me. Sometimes she asks me a question so many times, I feel like I'm being interrogated by the mob and I'm having a hard time getting my story straight. "OK, Daddy, just relax and tell me once again why I can't play with this steak knife?"

Last time the Why phase reared its annoying little head, I marveled at how quickly I would resort to saying things like, "Because I said so." As much as I hated saying it--after all, I don't really want to discourage her from asking questions--it was a quick way to end the conversation before I lost my mind. Now, however, I'm working on a more sophisticated strategy. Next time she asks me a question I'm going to point behind her and say, "Look, Sadie! It's Spider-man!" and quickly run out of the room. Think it'll work?

Why?

First day of school

Soen started kindergarten and Sadie started pre-school yesterday. He was a bit clingy as we left him in his new classroom. Sadie basically forgot I was there. When I picked her up her teacher said, "Oh what a good listener she was!" I suppressed a sarcastic remark. Gold star for Daddy.

Picking Soen up was an eye-opening experience. It was a total mob scene. Took me a half hour. Suddenly the bus looks like a great alternative. I just have to get the wife on board. She has visions of sixth graders pummeling my son into submission. Did I mention it took me a half hour to pick the boy up?

Note the hippie look Sadie was sporting. Today we switched over the the tennis/country club look. Well sort of. Note the spider-man tattoos and the blue lips and the blue streak running down her left leg. Sadie can make a mess even when chewing gum.

Some photos

Sorry I don't have a better pic of Sadie in her bikini, Bonnie.

Another video to keep the grandparents happy

The dangers of having long, curly hair and an older brother

Not much to report

We've been having a great summer. Lots of pool and beach time. Sadie's been pooping on the potty like a champ lately. We are now diaper-free except at night. So we've got that going for us. And we're all so excited about it that we've developed a new dance. Btw, what Soen mentions at the end of this video wound up being a false alarm.

Meet Speedy

Once upon a time we were on a cat reduction plan. Actually that was as recently as Saturday. Funny story. You see... a certain someone was at his wit's end when it came to getting his daughter to poop on the potty. And try as he might he couldn't find anything to bribe her with. Candy, toys, sleeping upstairs with her brother.... She wanted nothing. And worse, she showed absolutely no interest in pooping on the potty. Now, this person knew that kids will do things on their own time. He knew that his daughter wouldn't be 16 years old and still wearing diapers. But his patience was wearing a bit thin. And then had a sudden flash of inspiration. "Sadie," he said, "what if we got a kitten?" "A big kitty cat?" she asked him. "Nope. A teeny tiny baby kitty cat." She gasped and dashed off to the potty with renewed interest and... achieved poop.

After detailing his victory to his wife (and after his daughter blurted out what her new prize would be even though it was supposed to be a secret) and after assuring her that he wasn't crazy, the man, his wife, and their two kids journeyed to PetSmart where they met Speedy (formerly Drake) and fell in love. And they lived happily ever after with their four and a half cats.

(The half cat would be the grey cat that's been hanging about that I mentioned in a recent post. Yes, we are clearly insane.)

As for the name: It's one thing coming up with a pet's name when it's just you or your spouse. After all, who could forget our previous triumphs, Mr Pants and Foot Foot? But when you have a 2-year old and a 5-year old in the picture, it's hard steering them past names like Green Lantern, Spiderman, Backugan, Spiderman, Superman, and Spiderman. Wife hates the name. Then again, she didn't like Mr Pants, either.

Jose

I managed to catch one of her two favorite expressions on video. Her other favorite is "No way, Jose!." That's my favorite, because while most people use it in jest, Sadie uses it when she's really angry. Like when we tell her it's finally time to go to bed after granting her a few one minute extensions. "No way, Jose!" It's hard not to laugh. Well, not that hard. After all by the time she whips out No way, Jose, we're beyond joking around. But at least it's G-rated.

The creepies, the crawlies, and me.

Soen at his happiest.

I don't know what was going on but today our backyard was like an episode of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom.

On a typical day one might find a few of those green and brown lizards called Anoles hanging out on our backyard fence. Let me rephrase that. Every single morning Soen wakes up, eats, and goes outside to find anoles. I usually have to drag him to the pool, where, after swimming for a bit, he gets out of the pool and goes to look for bugs and anoles.

We have a few other creatures that sometimes make themselves known to us. There's an elusive Southeastern Five-lined Skink that always scurries out of reach. (Those suckers an insanely fast.) And an Eastern Glass Lizard or two that have managed to remain alive in spite of being captured by Soen a few times. But mostly we just have those anoles.

Then today we managed to catch a green tree frog, a salamander, and this toad you see in the photo above. I say "we" but it was all Soen. I found the toad and the frog and managed to steer them towards Soen, who grabbed them so adeptly it was almost frightening. I had ample opportunities to grab these creatures myself but I couldn't get past the yuck factor.

Ever since Soen was a toddler he's been into bugs and all other sorts of creepie crawlies. He has never had any qualms about grabbing the most slimy and digusting creatures you've ever seen. On the contrary, nothing makes him happier. I, on the other hand, have basically tried my best to encourage Soen's interest in this sort of thing while hiding the fact that I have no stomach for it. Frankly, I've gotten rather good at it walking this line. I either make it my job to shepherd the animal in question towards Soen or I do a great imitation of a hunter who is just slightly too slow to grab the prey as it escapes. Of course I've gotten a lot of practice at this because I'm the one Soen wants with him as he goes hunting. I love that he asks me to go find lizards with him several times a day. I just wish he would invite me to do something that doesn't make me look less manly than Sadie (see below).

Anyway, back to today's catch: Soen couldn't have been more gleeful. I love that level of pure joy that only kids can experience and express. Sadie had a similar moment later today. There's this grey kitten that's suddenly been hanging out in our yard. He's very cute and playful but he is also understandably terrified of Sadie. Well, this afternoon he not only didn't run screaming when she approached him, but he actually played with her. Well, if she said "Meow meow play with me!" once she said it four hundred and sevently-five times. Which is probably the way I'd react if Soen suddenly said, "Hey Dad, let's go golfing."

The Taming of the Shrew's Hair

The cleanest Sadie will ever look.

Sadie's hair is basically a rat's nest 95% of the time. It's a very cute rat's nest. And all the people who comment on her golden curly locks never seem to notice the snarls entangled in knots ensnared in the morass that is her hair. And no matter how much we wash her hair or how much leave-in conditioner we slather on it when it comes to trying to get a comb through her hair... well, let's just say that she'd probably prefer to be waterboarded. At least, that was the case before we were clued in to the secret of the African American hair products.

I don't know what's in this extra-strength conditioner Wife picked up the other day, but I'm sure it's probably single-handedly responsible for global warming. Frankly, I'm willing to be blissfully ignorant on this issue because it worked like magic. One application of this stuff and the knots practically fell out by themselves. For the first time it was actually possible for someone to run a comb through her hair.

So, I had to take a picture. Her hair actually stayed presentable all through the dinner we were going to when I took this picture. The same can't be said for her white dress.

(One might gather, from the way I wrote this, that I handle all of Sadie's hair care. Of course we both know that's not the case. Sadie does have a shirt that says "Daddy does my hair," but I think wife bought that to deflect all the blame.)

The Quiet Game

The old salty dog at the helm.

We went to Hilton Head this past weekend and had a blast. This photo was taken on a dolphin spotting tour. All the kids on the boat got a turn at the wheel. Most of them, like Soen, stood there in amazement. Sadie, on the other hand, was driving the boat like she'd done it her whole life. Here you can see her scanning the horizon. Even the captain said, "Look at her! She's like, 'I got this.' "

Anyway, my favorite moment from the entire trip was in the car ride on the way down. It was a five-hour drive and towards the end the kids were understandably getting a bit rambunctious. So, we tried playing the Quiet Game. This is the entire transcript:

Wife: Hey guys, let's play the Quiet Game!
Soen: OK Mommy!
Wife: On the count of three we all have to be as quiet as possible and see who can stay the quietest the longest. Ready? 1...2...3!
Sadie: I LOSE!

Tooth Fairy vs Santa

Guess what!

So, Soen lost his first tooth the other day. Wife has been having a rather hard time with this one. I guess her little boy is growing up too quickly. My dilemma, on the other hand, is more spiritual in nature. As you may know, I have forbidden Santa from our household. But I totally have a double standard when it comes to the tooth fairy. Wife called me on this the other day and I had no good explanation for her other than I'm a hypocrite.

As for the big night, he was concerned with the tooth getting lost under his pillow. I wsa only too happy to suggested we leave it out in the open, for I was concerned with how I was going to be able to do the old switcheroo without waking him up--especially since he's in his bunk bed. Anyway, he was pleased as punch when he woke up and found a dollar where his tooth was. And then promptly forgot all about the whole experience and went outside to look for lizards. I later asked him if he found himself playing with the gap with his tongue, which is what I used to do. He looked at me like I had four heads. He's already cooler than I ever was.

The S word

Roller Disco Queen

This was taken at a birthday party yesterday. I brought the kids' scooters and Soen was happy zipping around the place. But Sadie wanted to try roller skating. I love that about her. She's a gamer. Anyway this is pretty much what she did the whole time. She'd take ten minutes to skate from one end to the other--with the older kids zipping by--and then turn around and take ten minutes to skate back. Perfectly content.

Anyway, this post is called "The S word" because of an interaction Soen and I had the other day at the pool...
"I know a bad word, Daddy."
"Oh yeah?"
"The S word. Do you know what the S word is?"
"I know what it is. I'm curious if you know what it is."
"I know what it is. It's 'stupid.' "
"Ah. Yes, that's it all right."

I'm glad that was the S word he was talking about. Not only was I not looking forward to having a discussion with him about the other S word, but I'm also relieved because it wouldn't take a genius to figure out which parental figure he would have heard the other S word from.

Happy Mother's Day

Cute, right? Of course, this is the same creature who, only hours ago, pulled something out of her belly button and ate it.


In case you're wondering how my first week of part-time work went. Well, it was actually quite nice. Right now it's just me and Sadie and we've had some good father-daughter time. Plus. the pool opened up on Monday, so that scored me big points. I do, however, have one... well maybe "complaint" isn't the right word. "Concern" might be better

Now, I know I'm not the first person to comment on this, but it's unbelievable how crazy your child can drive you with the word "why." She's in that phase right now and it's her reply to every single sentence I utter. No exaggeration. I don't remember Soen being this annoying. Did I say "annoying?" I meant "inquisitive." I'm reminded of a bit that the comedian Louis CK does about this very topic. Once the question is asked it's just a downward spiral:
"Sadie put your shoes on."
"Why?"
"So we can go to the store."
"Why?"
"To buy some mulch."
"Why?"
"For our garden."
"Why?..."
And on and on until you finally lose your mind and scream "Because I said so!"

Actually now I just cut right to the "Because I said so" chase the moment the question is asked. It seems to be the only thing that shuts her up. By "shuts her up," of course, I mean, "satisfies her curiosity about the wonders of the world."

Um... so aside from that... I'm digging the whole part-time thing.

Speaking of mulch, have you ever seen "My Big Fat Greek Wedding?" Remember the one aunt who was obsessed with Windex? She used it to cure everything... Well, I'm in the middle of overhauling our yard, and I think mulch is my Windex. Every problem I see... I'm pretty sure it can be fixed by mulch. Is that weird?

One giant poop for mankind

Funny: She doesn't eat her veggies like this.

It's official: This morning we achieved poop. Something must have clicked since my last post because she started peeing on the potty on a regular basis. Then this morning... she dropped the big deuce. Of course, she drove a hard bargain in the process. She was sitting on the john listening to me tell her that if she pooped she'd get to sleep upstairs with Soen. Then she asked if she could also have two jellybeans. "Deal," I said. Apparently that was all she needed to hear. To top it all off she went to school in her underwear (instead of her diaper) and when we last checked she was still dry. I thought this day would never come.

BTW, Friday I will officially make the transition to being a stay at home dad (working part-time), which at the very least will ensure some good material for the blog. Wish me luck.

Sleep vs Poop

Who needs toys?

So, we've been trying to potty train Sadie for a while now. She basically shows no interest in it. I've tried to bribe her with toys, candy, and ice cream. Nothing works. With Soen, it was much easier. Wave a dinosaur toy in front of him and he'd do anything. Sadie wants nothing. As much as I admire this about her, it leaves me with no bargaining power. Or at least that was true until Monday night.

A little while ago we bought a bunk bed so the kids could sleep together in Soen's room. Both kids loved it and it made night time easier because we could put them to bed at the same time. But then the kids started staying up later and later. They'd just lie there, chatting away. We'd have to make several trips up there to quiet them down. Sometimes that worked. But when it didn't work, we'd have to take Sadie downstairs back to her room, which always resulted in her having a screaming fit and Soen crying uncontrollably. It would be an hour before everything was calm again, which usually meant that the kids weren't asleep until almost 10:00--two to three hours after the whole nighttime process began. Not exactly how we want to spend our evenings. Eventually this started happening every night, so this past Monday Wife finally pulled the plug on the whole bunk bed experience. Peace is once again restored.

But now we have something that Sadie wants. I told her that if she poops on the potty she can sleep upstairs again. Suddenly she's interested. I'm just concerned this may be too high a price to pay. We'll see how it goes.

My son the anarchist

Sadie rocks out.
Not sure where she learned that these are the poses you're supposed to make when you're holding an axe, but with those moves and that hair we could be looking at a hair-metal revival. For better or worse.

Soen came up to me yesterday and said, "Daddy, wouldn't it be cool if the world had no rules?" I'm thinking, cool! Now I can start reading him some Rudolph Rocker and Mikhail Bakunin. "Yeah Soen, we call that anarchy." But he didn't seem to have Libertarian Socialism in mind... "If we had no rules we could go to school and watch movies all day! And if I had a knife..." now, I wasn't quite sure where he was going with this... "I could do this." And he started swinging his imaginary knife around like an uncoordinated ninja. "Wouldn't that be cool? And I could eat ice cream and candy all the time!"

So, two things cracked me up about this. One was that he had obviously given this some thought. This wasn't an idea that just popped into his head. Wife told me she had had a similar conversation with him earlier. Previously this kind of long-term planning was mostly centered around getting toys. Now, he seemed to be taking a look at the bigger picture, which is progress.

The second part was the knife. The movies and ice cream... that's a no brainer. But I'm not quite sure where the knife fantasy came from. I do know this, however: I'll be sleeping with one eye open.

P.S. Oh, Soen scored two goals last week. He was very excited. Not as excited as his parents, though.

Soccer!

Soen's second soccer game was today. He and his teammates were much improved over last week. Last week I think the score was about 20-0. No exaggeration, although we kind of lost track about five minutes into the game. I think the score would have been higher but the other team got tired of scoring. This week, however, we only lost 5-1. But at least we scored a goal!

What I love about watching kids play sports is that they have no idea what they're doing. We take for granted that we know the basics of how to play sports. For instance, we know that the people wearing the same color shirt as us are on our team. This concept still hasn't quite sunk in with my son's team. In fact the whole "team" concept is still pretty fuzzy. On the sidelines they may get it, but when the ball is in play, kids will just take the ball away from whoever has it.

Another concept that seems pretty basic is knowing which goal you're supposed to kick the ball into. Now, to be fair, it does change halfway through the game. But it is something that needs to be pointed out to them every five minutes and there's no guarantee they'll remember once the ball is in play.

Anyway, I took a bunch of videos from the first two games. It was hard to whittle down to two clips but I think this first one shows pretty much what last week's game was like. And the second one does a good job of showing the team's improvement. Especially Soen's. He barely took his hands of out of his pockets last time. (Frankly, I was just glad he played. Two weeks ago he was too scared to go on the field.) This time he almost scored three goals. You can tell he was having a lot more fun, too.

Lightsabers + Ottoman = Hours of amusement

I love the ability to edit videos. This way I can show Wife all the fun I had with the children while she was out--and completely hide all the injuries, screaming, and gnashing of teeth.


Carefully cropped photos are good, too. Kind of makes you wonder what they're watching, no?

A typical dinner

I present the future Nobel laureates in "Imitating Soen."

Night Night Time

Some nights, when wife is at Yoga and I'm putting the kids to bed on my own, they like to do the whole bedtime process together, which yields fun pics like this one. This is a good pic of Sadie huffing on her nook nook bear. Usually she lays there huffing away, pausing only to request the next song she wants sung to her. She has two of them, so she huffs on the one and occasionally offers the other one to you. It's considered impolite to refuse.

Unrelated to this: I'm kind of tired of the river of snot that's been flowing in our house since September. And of course it's not just affecting the kids. I can't remember the last time I wasn't reaching for a tissue. It used to be that I'd get a cold and it would hang around for a day or two and be gone. Now they never seem to go away. Are these bugs getting stronger or am I getting weaker?

Don't answer that.

The seasons

Sadie is actually doing a fairly good job imitating my hand gestures. I like how she wipes her hands clean of the whole thing at the end. At least she's listening. Soen, on the other hand, stared at me like I was making the sound that adults make on the old Peanuts TV specials. I edited his snarky response out.

Let's do it!

I just realized the other day that I never posted this video on the ol' blog before. It's a trip seeing Soen at this age. I believe this is from Jan '06, so he was roughly the same age as Sadie is now.

I can watch this thing over and over again. I love that he blinks his eyes as he's saying it. Like he's really feeling it.

Poop monsters

Soen has entered the phase where he must make a goofy face in every photo. He gets that from me.

I'm tired of dealing with other people's poop. This morning I changed Sadie's diaper twice before we got out the door for school. Last night she actually pooped in the potty and we whooped it up and celebrated with ice cream and song. But the double number twos this morning made me think that she was just playing me for the ice cream.

Meanwhile, the boy likes to yell from the bathroom: "Will somebody check my butt?" And when you open the door, there he is, sprawled out on the floor with his butt in the air like he just don't care.

This past Saturday, however, Soen came downstairs from his nap, went straight into Wife's room and woke her up, saying that he pooped and needed her help. She said to go wash his hands and flush the toilet. He replied that the poop was not actually in the toilet, to which she said the only sensible thing you can say: "Scott! Soen needs your help!" I won't go into any of the gory details. I will say that I'm still kind of fuzzy as to how the events unfolded.

Anyway, Sadie's actually ahead of Soen in the poop department by about six months or so. But the day we can finally ditch that Diaper Genie can't come soon enough.

Wii are family.

Wii as performance art.

So the Wii continues to be a fun addition to our lives. Soen has really taken to it. We were bowling the other day and Soen, who was all hopped up on Craisins and showing off for his Uncle Devin, would throw the ball and yell, "Watch and learn, old man! Watch and learn!"

Sadie, on the other hand, likes to play the Wii because her brother does. But, being two, she doesn't totally get it. It's interesting to see what she can do and what is beyond her cognitive abilities. As you see in the video, she understands the Wii Fit board--that you have to lean in order to accomplish certain goals--even though she's not quite adept at it. But the other day we were golfing and she was totally unable to actually hit the ball. To do so requires holding down the A button while you swing the remote. Well, she can swing the remote and she can hold down the button but apparently she can't do both at the same time. Trying to get her to do so turned into somewhat of a maddening comedy routine and a rather grueling golf match. I guess for now she'll just stick with boxing.

So I got a little carried away...

I found this website where you can create your own version of the famous Shepard Fairey Obama poster and the next thing I new it was an hour later and I was seeing the world in high-contrast red, white, and blue. Anyway, here are some of the better ones.

Broken Record

The kids learning valuable life lessons.

I don't recall this phase with Soen, but lately Sadie has been repeating things over and over and over again. Her monologues, if you will, go from being annoying to really annoying to maddening to wow, that's actually kind of impressive, and finally to the point where the words cease to mean whatever it was they once meant to you and you find yourself questioning the very nature of reality.

The other day in the car it started to rain and Sadie made a rather salient point about it: "Raining, Daddy. Raining." "That's right, Sadie. It's raining." Pause. "Raining, Daddy. Raining. Raining, Soen. Raining." Pause. "Raining." And on and on and on. She would have kept going except that it finally stopped raining. Perhaps even Mother Nature had had enough. But then she started with, "No rain, Daddy. No rain..."

The other night we were all eating dinner and we heard a strange noise. For whatever reason Sadie got scared by the noise. After telling her that there was nothing to be scared of, I said, "Do I look scared?" and smiled my most winning smile (the kind where if we had been on a TV show there would have been a little starburst emanting from my teeth.) She seemed more at ease. Then, being the ass that I am, I said, "Do I look scared now?" And I made what I thought was a silly impression of a scared face. Sadie, however, failed to see the humor and started to cry. There goes the Father of the Year Award.

Anyway, Wife picked her up and walked her around the house to prove there was nothing to be scared of. Finally they opened the front door and saw Gromit sitting there, so Wife said that it must have been Gromit who made the noise. They came back into the kitchen and Sadie said, "Gromit noise, Daddy. Gromit noise."
"Oh that silly Gromit."
"Gromit noise."
Pause
"Gromit noise. Gromit noise, Daddy. Gromit noise, Soen. Gromit noise, Mommy. Gromit noise."
"Yep that's right, Sadie. Gromit noise."
Pause
"Gromit noise. Gromit noise, Mommy."
And on and on and on and on. Until finally even Soen was like, please stop saying that before we all go insane. The next morning she started in again with the Gromit noise. And the day after that. And even this morning, although, thank the gods, she only mentioned it in passing.

I vaguely remember being a little concerned that Sadie wasn't speaking as much as her brother did at her age. Someday I'll learn to stop worrying about those things.

Ah, who am I kidding?

Sadie McStubbornson

Our son the paleontologist, seeking clues as to why his sister is so stubborn.

The terrible twos have arrived with a vengeance. Our daughter, who used to be the epitome of sweetness and light, is now, well, kind of a jerk. There. I said it.

Don't get me wrong, I love her dearly. (Most of the time.) But boy, when she decides to fight you on something, you'd better come packin'.

Take last night, for example. Wife bought the family a new Wii. (Yay Wife!) We were busy setting it up and I told the kids to go upstairs and play until it was ready. About 2.3 seconds later they got into a bit of a squabble, culminating in her crumpling up one of his paintings. Screaming ensued. So, I went upstairs, sussed out the situation, and told Sadie to apologize to her brother. She refused, crossing her arms, and looking down at the floor in her stance of defiance. I sat down next to her and said, "Sadie, it's not nice to ruin Soen's paintings..." blah blah blah... "please say you're sorry to Soen."
"No!"
I told her to look at me. She closed her eyes and turned away, which has the effect of really annoying me and cracking me up at the same time.

We went back and forth a bit, with me getting more stern until finally I pulled out the trump card: "Sadie, if you want to play with the new toy, then say you're sorry to your brother."
"No!"
"Do you want to play with the new toy?"
"Yes."
"Then say you're sorry."
"No!"
"Say you're sorry to your brother. Then we can go play with the new toy."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Now, if I had been asking her to actually do something onerous, like clean her room or go to bed, I could understand her reluctance. But really? Saying you're sorry? At this point, I wouldn't have cared if she didn't mean it--after all, this really wasn't how I wanted to be spending my evening--I just wanted her to say the stupid words so we can get on with our lives. (Did I mention there was a brand new Wii waiting for me?)

Eventually she was put in time out and once the screaming finally stopped she went ahead and apologized to Soen as though the previous ten minutes hadn't happened. And we all played golf.

I fear for her teen years.

In case you're wondering, Soen trounced us. He hit a beautiful approach shot and wound up parring the hole. I bring this up because, having no concept of how you play golf, he was kind of upset that everyone else got to take so many more turns than he did. And all my talk about how he was so much better than the rest of us was wasted on him. He was like, Yeah I just want to hit the ball some more.

China, soccer, and spider-man.

So I know I already have a clip of Sadie singing Spider-man, but I wanted to post this one because I like the way Soen is chillin' in the doorway. He's been a super goofball lately. The other day he said, "Hey Daddy, you don't have a penis. You just have a china." This got a laugh from me but probably not for the reason he was expecting.

In other news, we just signed him up for soccer, which starts in a couple of weeks. We've been wanting to sign him up for some kind of organized sport for a while now. It's funny, I'll talk to another parent and they're like, well today little so-and-so has dance lessons and yesterday he went to his swim meet, and tomorrow he's taking Italian blah blah blah. And I'm like, "Oh yeah? That sounds like my son. Yesterday he was running around the house naked, calling me a butt crack and today he was running around the house naked, telling me I didn't have a penis." And I wonder why we don't get invited to more parties.

Not that I want him to have a crazy busy schedule like some kids, but I think it would be good for him to do something organized. With clothing. Anyway, it was a bit of a struggle to get him signed up for soccer. He likes soccer and he'd probably be pretty good at it. But he was scared at the thought of it. We tried looking in to other things like swimming and golf but the schedules didn't work out for us. And try as we might, he wanted nothing to do with soccer. But the other day the guy who runs Soen's after school program said, "Soccer's the coolest" and he asked everyone to hold up their hand if they were playing soccer. All these hands went up and suddenly soccer is the coolest thing ever. We'll see how it goes. If nothing else, I'm sure it will make for some more blog entries.

Sadie's first gig

She's kind of obsessed with the Spider-man theme song these days. Frankly, she's kind of obsessed with all things Spider-man. Ultimately, though, she's really just obsessed with doing everything her big brother does. And I mean everything. If he runs and jumps over the ottoman, she'll do it, too. Of course, since she's not as adept as her brother, what she usually does is like the Cliff's Notes version of whatever it was he did.

It's even funnier when she copies him even when she's not sure what he's doing. For instance, sometimes when Soen wants something he'll run up and whisper in my ear. And then sure enough, Sadie will come running up to whisper in my ear as well, although, having no idea what her brother said, she'll just make whispering noises.

And I wish I had a nickel for every time she says the phrase "Sadie, too." Whenever Soen says anything she follows it up with "Sadie, too"--again, even when she's not sure what it is he's saying. The other day Soen rattled off a rather extended tale of something he did, going into minute details the way 5-year-olds do. Sadie sat next to him in rapt attention listening to him ramble for several minutes. And when he was done, she turned to me and said confidently, "Sadie, too."

Attention Child Services...

Reason number one to buy a new vacuum: Your kids will want to play with the new toy. Soen said he wants to vacuum all the time. Who are we to argue with that?